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Jerrid Grimm
by Jerrid Grimm
March 03, 2015

How to Attend SXSW for $50

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SXSW is somewhat of a legend in the social media, marketing and technology circles. The interactive conference that helped launch Twitter and Foursquare started as a small gathering of geeks in 1994, a minor sidenote to the Music focus of the festival. It has since grown into a behemoth event featuring over 1,000 conference sessions attracting more than 30,000 attendees. While some like to talk about how SXSW has passed its prime and lost its cache, the event is still a mecca for thousands of plaid shirt wearing techies.

The event is definitely not cheap to attend, a $1,000 badge, $300 – $3,000 a night hotel rooms, flights, food, BBQ. Not to mention what your Uber bill is going to look like.
 

@uber wow – that was an expensive trip!!! 30 min drive? pic.twitter.com/c17426EnfD

— Chris Miller (@cjmil) March 13, 2013

 

So, how can you attend SXSW for only $50? The short answer is, you can’t. Wait, wait, don’t click away yet. Although you may not be able to physically be in Austin for $50, we’ve put together the very next best thing; making everyone think that you’re at SXSW. After all, what does “attending” really mean anyway? Here is your step by step plan to be at SXSW, without leaving the comfort of your shared office space / house / couch.    

Step 1: Eat some breakfast tacos

Taco Bell Breakfast Taco  

In Austin breakfast tacos make up 4 of the 5 major food groups (the other is micro-brewed beer). A day hasn’t officially started until you’ve had this classic lovechild of Mexico and Omelettes. We’ve uncovered 3 ways you can enjoy this SXSW tradition.

  • Here is an app to help find the best food truck in your city
  • Here’s a recipe for breakfast tacos
  • And if all else fails Taco Bell has taken scrambled eggs, crammed them into a sausage patty, wrapped the whole thing in a waffle and called it a breakfast taco

Important note: Don’t forget to share a photo of your breakfast on Instagram. Then re-share that photo on Twitter, Facebook, Pinterest, Ello and Classmates.com

Cost: $5    

Step 2: Take a super long bus ride

Any hotel or AirBnB within walking distance of the Austin Convention Centre sold out in 1995. It’s a relatively small city, with limited accommodations, so you’re probably going to be staying at a $400/night Super8 somewhere near Dallas. Luckily SXSW offers a shuttle service to get the thousands of attendees into the downtown core.  It makes more stops than a toddler in a toy store, but it’s cheap and…well, it’s cheap. You can easily replicate this experience by looking up your local bus system. Find the furthest stop from both your house and work, get dropped off there, hop on the bus and enjoy the sounds and smells that can only come from mass public transportation.

Cost: $3    

Step 3: Tweet like mad

Starting on March 13th and running right through until March 20th you can expect your Twitter stream to be absolutely crushed by tweets from your friends and colleagues that had their SXSW expense budget approved while you didn’t. Fight fire with fire. Here are 5 pre-made tweets that will fool anyone into thinking that you are in the midst of a mind-expanding keynote.

Holy shit, I just discovered the Uber for (trains/cats/surrogates) at #SXSW. #gamechanger — SXSW Fanboy (@SXSWFanboy) March 3, 2015

This lineup is crazy, but I just can’t miss (Mark Cuban/Shaq/Grumpy Cat) #sxswProblems

— SXSW Fanboy (@SXSWFanboy) March 3, 2015

So true, it’s all about authentic storytelling through the big data of wearable technology — SXSW Fanboy (@SXSWFanboy) March 3, 2015

I just saw Elon Musk eating a battery powered taco #CleanEnergy #genius #tacomafia

— SXSW Fanboy (@SXSWFanboy) March 3, 2015

I completed a 2 km run, consumed 4,562 calories and took a 3 pound dump #autoshare #IoT #TMI — SXSW Fanboy (@SXSWFanboy) March 3, 2015

Cost: Free
(well, except for the emotional cost of losing a bunch of followers that don’t care about SXSW)

 

Step 4: Get ready to go back to dial up internet

Netscape gif

The funny thing about virtually all tech conferences, not just SXSW, is that the wifi is incredibly consistent, it almost never works. Listen, I understand if the internet connection is slow at the Dental Associates of America conference, but c’mon, this is an SXSW interactive! I should be able to download the entire season of Silicon Valley just by thinking about it. Nevertheless, an authentic experience of your fake SXSW trip is not complete without a super bad internet connection. My advice is to go into any Starbucks, connect to their wifi, and then proceed to walk 1 mile in any direction. That’s what the wifi is like at SXSW. Either that, or just switch your provider to Sprint.

Cost: Free

 

Step 5:  Charge your phone every 15 minutes

There are 30,000 SXSW Interactive attendees in Austin and about 14 electrical outlets. Your phone will likely be dead before the end of your epic morning bus ride, so get ready to hunt for power. I have personally missed opportunities to meet celebrities because I had a chance to be 3rd in line for a power outlet. I wouldn’t doubt if Mophie battery packs does 90% of their annual sales directly from their booth at the SXSW trade show floor (I’ve bought 3 there myself).

Cost: $42 for a Mophie Pack (used, available on eBay, or you can have one of the ones from my junk drawer)

Total cost to “attend” SXSW: $50

There you have it. Maybe you don’t actually need to go to Austin to live the SXSW experience. Plus, now you can save your money to buy the new Apple Watch.

Jerrid

…

Thanks for reading. If you enjoyed this post you may like What if Buzzfeed wrote the bible

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